Please, leave me behind

For a variety of reasons which I won't bore you with, I wound up at Amazon reading the reader reviews for the incredibily popular, Christan porn, Left Behind. This one cracked me up and so I thought I'd share:

Lord Jesus I Sure Hope You Save Us!!!!!

I just dun finished this here book. Now I'll tell all ya fellas that I aint too much on book learnin or readin words but I was goshdanged by this here book. It's just like I always dun knew it was gonna be. The Lord Jesus God gonna come down here on this Earth and be a whuppin up on all those people that aint right like christians. That includes all the dirty muslins and the stoopid aytheists (can't never be spellerin that word correct-like). Anyways I only hope the Lord God Jesus's repersentive on Earth, George W. Bush, can a get this here 'pocalypse a comin soon enough. Theez damn books are a goshdamn sight better than a watchin Jerry Springer or beatin up ma kids like I usually be doin'. One of them stoopid revewers said this here book was a ritten at a sixth grader level. Well thats a bunch of spit and possum vittles. I dint even finish the fourth grade and I'm a readin it just fine. Ima just hopin somebody gonna make nifty cartoon out this here book. YEEEEEHAAAAWWWWW!!!! PRAISE JESUS!!!!!

-- Patrick Burns

The scary thing is that, although it's obviously tongue in cheek, at its heart I think it pretty much sums up the attitude of the people this book appeals to.