Zing!

Oh wow, some writer at PlanetOut was really feeling his Wheaties this morning.

"God's Rottweiler" growls at same-sex marriage

Pope Benedict XVI lived up to his "Rottweiler" nickname this weekend when he chewed into same-sex marriage and Spain's Socialist government.

Like the tenacious dog breed he's been equated with, Benedict indicated that having sunk his teeth into Spain's newfound secularism, he's not about to loosen the bite...

He savaged marriage equality before even getting off his papal plane from Rome. Questioned on the role of same-sex marriage in society, the pope told reporters: "According to human nature, it is man and woman who are made for each other and to give humanity a future."

Critics have been swift to point out that an old man who's experienced neither relationships nor much life outside the church is unlikely to be the most qualified adviser on the subject of love and marriage. Regardless of this screaming anomaly, nearly 1.5 million devotees turned out to hear him.

Bitchy queens: 1, Man in a white dress with a funny hat: 0