A Muslim shiek has explained the recent tsunami as being God's punishment against those in the afflicted nations for their sins. He specifically cited fornication, homosexuality, usury, and corruption. I guess if God were a cop chasing a suspect through a crowd of people, he'd shoot at him with a flamethrower.
He's only half right, though. Clearly, this disaster was a punishment from God for our sins. But it wasn't these sexual sins. After all, they've been going on in the world since the dawn of time; why would He decide to punish them so much now? No, clearly this tsunami is a punishment for a recent crime against Nature. And as should be clear to even the most unbeheaded of infidels, the abhorrent crime I speak of is the creation of a thing that should not be: Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr Pepper. This is simply an unholy combination of things that He never meant to be combined.
So there you have it. Two possible explanations. Now, how shall we decide which one of us is right?